KTHXBAI!

Be back next time (don't know when).

So in my last post, it is kind of established that the Singapore citizenship for males is basically a cheap deal compared to being foreigner out to get our jobs permanent residents here.

Of course if I had my way, I would, contrary to the government's stand of welcoming these folks into our pristine shores with no conditions, set certain restrictions to their privileges in order to balance the outrage that born and bred locals feel towards their imported counterparts. That would widen the gap of benefits one get as a citizen, which I feel is not a bad thing. The government has cautioned that if we widen this gap, we would make the foreigners feel unwelcome here, and they will therefore avoid making Singapore a place to call home. Singapore will lose its attractiveness as a beacon for foreign talents, and a host of problems will occur, which will eventually lead Singapore back to becoming a swamp ala 1819.

But I beg to differ based on two points.

One, many advantageous factors already in place in Singapore because of the hard work laid down by it's citizens - such as good infrastructure, a safe environment, our free port, the education system - already make Singapore a very ideal place for the fleeing unfortunate masses of foreign talents to want to settle down here. One more benefit they enjoy as a permanent resident here is one carrot too many already.

Two, by widening the gap of benefits between a full fledged citizen and a PR will in turn make these permanent residents aspire to greater lengths of obtaining full citizenship. If the difference in benefits is negligible, which it is right now, what makes them want to throw down the gauntlet and settle down here as a full fledge citizen? At least as a PR, they have the options to return home or go somewhere else if things don't work out for them here. Our government does not know the worth of its own country.

Now the question is - how do we widen the gap? What other privileges can we take away from PRs right now? The most obvious would be the medical and hospitalization subsidies. What is the rationale for doing so? Foreigners fleeing their country of origins and settling down in Singapore have already ensured themselves a life with a lesser risk of premature mortality. What's the worst accident that could happen to you in Singapore? Get run over by a car? How many ways can you die elsewhere around Asia like India (bomb blasts), or China (earthquakes and their own oppressive army)? What about the Philippines (typhoons and volcanoes) or Indonesia (Earthquakes and tsunamis)? Check the CIA factbook on mortality rates. Singapore is ranked at #174 (the only other Asian country where the mortality rate is lower is Brunei).

The point is - they've escaped early death once by settling down here. We have invariably "subsidized" their chances of dying young. So ... why are we subsidizing them for medical and hospitalization subsidies? Isn't that double counting? Am I making sense?

Every Singaporean male citizen who reaches the age of 18 is liable to serve at least 2 years of National Service. Thereafter, these "operationally ready servicemen" will be let loose and allowed to return to civilization once more. But every year till the day the Singaporean male hits 40 years old (or 50 if he's an officer), he is liable to be recalled back to his army camp for an average of two weeks for his reservist training.

Two weeks every year may not be much of a sacrifice but if you're a busy working white-collared salaryman, two weeks can leave quite a dent on your overall productivity and result in an insurmountable workload as I found out recently when I returned from reservist.

If you would ask most Singaporean men what they feel about reservist, most likely than not they'll tell you that reservist is really a waste of time. Forget what the government and staunch patriots say about the sacred rights of defending the nation, these men will tell you how their reservist stint resulted in a loss of income (especially the sales people), an increase in living expenses (especially if they don't have a car and have to rely on cabs), or in some extreme instances, an irritated and uncaring boss and even a threat on their jobs.

Especially in this economically desperate climate when the government of Singapore readily welcome Foreign Talents (FTs) with open arms and dish out permanent residency to these FTs for free, anecdotal evidences persist on blogs and forums about how promotions and even jobs were lost to these foreigners because true-blooded Singaporean males have been burdened by the liability of National Service while foreigners are readily available to shine with their consistent presence in their offices. Of course, one should not be swept up in the emotions but rather critically examine the context of said job losses and missed promotions. Perhaps to begin with, these locals lost out to the foreigners because they are cheaper to employ and more hardworking?

But nonetheless, ceteris paribus (if all things being equal), the only difference between a local male worker and a foreign male worker is the national service liability. (On a side note, I am NOT calling it a liability out of spite, but following the government's convention of addressing it as such.) If that is the case, then one must examine what is the cost of being a Singaporean male, or to be more precise, what is the cost of this national service liability to a typical local guy. Is this cost so high that an employment pass holder or Singapore PR is better off compared to a full-fledged citizen? And how do we measure this cost?

I would assume the only way to measure the cost is to measure benefits that a Permanent Resident does not have but that a Singapore citizen enjoys. Then, we can draw a conclusion that the cost of National Service = the benefits PRs do not have.

So, what are the major benefits that a PR do not have and which a citizen enjoy?

Government
1. PR can't vote and cannot be an MP
(Big deal right? Most locals don't vote anyway because their constituencies are always walkover).

Tax Matters
1. No tax incentives for children, maids and parents.
(Is that a big deal? I can tell you mine probably come out to be $3000 a year.)

Subsidies
1. PRs not eligible for Edusave schemes.
(Big deal! With our government so notorious with defining narrow criteria for eligibility of schemes, how many people can actually qualify and rely on Edusave schemes?)

2. PRs have less subsidies for public health care. On average, 10% less subsidies.
(This is getting more ridiculous.)

Well, that's all actually.

So now you tell me - do you think it is worth being a Singapore male citizen saddled with a National Service liability? From the pure objective standpoint, it looks like Singapore male citizens are all be better off being permanent residents.

I have not been updating my livejournal for the past few weeks because I've ben busy with my work, and my weekends have been occupied with Indignation 09 as their volunteer event photographer.

I decided to volunteer as a photographer for them because of two reasons. One, to try my hand at event photography and see what challenges it poses, and two, to take my mind off the sadness that has been weighing on me recently.

It surely was an eye opener for me, being a volunteer for the gay cause, although I'm not sure if I've earned any karma points from this venture. After all, I didn't really improve lives, or return any goodwill to society. In fact, some conservatives may even believe I'm helping spread the "ills" of society by bringing the GLBT cause to the forefront of social consciousness when I publish the photos on facebook and flickr. Perhaps somehow, somewhere, someone hiding deep in the closet will be informed and enlightened by my photographs and take a positive step forward towards his own acceptance. Which of course will probably spell doom for the people who loves him as they would be devastated by his eventual coming out.

Throughout the past few weekends, I've bore witness to a lot of affirming activities which Indignation as well as other associated pro-gay groups like Oogachaga have organized, such as the Pink Picnic on National Day as well as the Outrace, where contestants race each other to the many gay significant spots in Singapore (such as Ann Siang Hill and AfA) to complete tasks and search for clues, not unlike the Amazing Race. I've made acquaintences with many of the other volunteers and kudos to the effort and enthusiasm they put into the cause by organizing these activities.

On the other hand, I was also privy to the inner mechanisms and disagreements in ideology even within the ranks of the gay movers and shakers. But better to hear alternative voices than to merely blindly follow the loudest one.

Now that Indignation is coming to an end, perhaps I'll have more time to write about other things. I'm not sure if I would want to volunteer again next year for Indignation. After all, I'm the type of person that prefer to move on after completing something I've set my mind to do.

Here are some of the highlights of Indignation:




The Pink Picnic - Food Orgy


VolunQueer Event


The Organizers of Indignation (Some of them are Livejournal users too)

Today I visited Nick at his final resting place - the Choa Chu Kang Columbarium. I spent 15 minutes speaking to him, telling him my feelings about his passing, and all the things I didn't manage to tell him when he was still with us. Barely a month has passed since the day he left. And as I spoke to him, I touched the cold slab of marble with his youthful face embossed on it, and his name and the dates of his birthday and passing engraved in yellow ink. It sent a mild shiver down my spine. There was a tiny bunch of flowers placed in the steel holder that was fixed next to his niche. A bunch of plastic carnations and daffodils with a ribbon tied around them. And a note that said


"To our beloved Nicky,
from Daddy and Mommy."


My tears flowed as freely again as the first day of the rupture in my heart. A rupture that has become part of me, and which will always remain. The definition of me now includes a painful hollow wound.

I had my camera with me cuz my next stop was the launch of Indignation 09 and I had volunteered myself as their event photographer. I didn't know if it is taboo to be taking photographs of a columbarium, but what the hell, I thought. As long as I don't take a photo of any particular niches, I guess is OK...

Warning though - They're rather eerie to behold. So ...







Empty Niches


Empty Corridor

<
Emptiness



More pictures at My Flickr page.

In some ironically strange ways, the departure of Nicky brought me closer to my family and also introduced me to new friends. One of them is Audi, who is one of Nick's best friends since BMT. He's a funny character and we've somehow ended chatting over Facebook regularly. And through Audi, I gradually got to know Nick better than when he was still with us.

Nick is so different from me and my cousins in many aspects. I shall talk about one particular aspect in this entry.

All my cousins including Nick & myself were brought up within the same matriarchal fraternity, cared for by our grandmother, fussed and smothered by our aunts & mothers, and taught dirty jokes and swear words by our uncles and fathers. My cousins and I may have different religions and possess different surnames, but a common thread binds us and identifies us as a family - we struggle with the Chinese language, but yet are fiercely traditional in our adherence to Chinese customs, kinship and most of all - mindset.

Except Nick the rebel. Although he may struggle with the Chinese language like the rest of us, he is more cosmopolitan than me in terms of his mindset. I measure this level of "cosmopolitan-ism" to the number of non-Chinese friends he has. I was surprised that a good number of his friends who turned up at the wake are non-Chinese. I can tell you if it were my wake (touch wood), there'll only be 3 non-Chinese friends who'll be there - Jin Hian, Clarence and Guhan. Even then, there's Chinese blood coursing through JH and Clarence, so it can't really add up to 3.

I'm not racist. I'm just not very familiar with other people's cultures to want to initiate a friendship with them. But Nick has a very open and receptive soul and makes friends with people of every creed, something I find very inspiring. That's something I must work towards.

I don't think I can write a proper Cosmopolitan Tales yet because I'm still in a haze of agony. But yet, my sense of humour is still present. I think that keeps me sane. Somehow.

So anyhow, instead of a proper Cosmopolitan Tale, I'll just write snippets of things that I think are interesting, and which happened over the past few days.


Conversation with Auntie Fanny

Auntie Fanny (AF): You ah ...
Me: What?
AF: I've watched you grow up, you never change.
Me: What do you mean?
AF: You're always so suspicious of what people tell you. You don't trust anyone easily is it?
Me: Why you say that?
AF: When the Colonel (Nick's CO) was talking to you, the way you look at him was like *gave that narrow slitty eye pursed lips doubtful expression*
Me: Really? Are you sure I did that? *looks at AF with that narrow slitty eye pursed lips doubtful expression*
AF: Tsk! There you go again.
Me: I don't trust his slick talk.


SMS Exchange with Cousin Esther

Cousin Esther (CE): Later when you go back to office, don't "tsk" at your staff ok?
Me: Tsk, why?
CE: There you go again.
Me: Why la?
CE: Cuz I love your "tsk". And moreover, people genuinely cares for your wellbeing even in the office. So don't "tsk" at them.
Me: No la I won't. No energy to "tsk" anyway :(


Conversation with The Doctor

The Doctor (TD): Hello. So when was your last exposure?
Me: Huh?
TD: Err ... when did you last have unsafe sex?
Me: I don't do unsafe sex.
TD: Then why are you here?
Me: ..... The last time I was here you told me to come and get tested once every 6 months what!
TD: Oh! Is it? Do you have sex often?
Me: Once a month.
TD: That's not very often what.
Me: Tsk.
TD: Same people you have sex with?
Me: More or less.
TD: Oh. Heh heh. Well ... actually ... once every 6 months is a bit overdoi ... ok lah. Once every 6 months is OK.
Me: ......
TD: Blood or saliva?
Me: Saliva.
.
.
.
*20 mins later*

TD: See, it's negative.
Me: .....
TD: See, only one line.
Me: .....
TD: Any questions?
Me: Bye.

I didn't expect the military send-off to be conducted in such a big scale. The service at Mandai was filled to the brim with many of Nick's ex-classmates, his camp mates and friends. It was standing room only. My grandma commented that Nick was so popular, and it was his fortune that he had so many people come to pay their last respects to him. I think so too. I needed to believe that too. Reuben delivered the family's eulogy while Nick's CO delivered the army's.

The family eulogy, which was largely written by me, was a very heart-wrenching one. And from how Reuben delivered it, I felt it was almost to the point of being emotionally manipulative to the audience which included my aunt and uncle. I think we both intended it to be that way because we both wanted to leave an impact on everybody in the hall. The army's eulogy was more uplifting and inspirational, recounting the various outstanding things Nick has performed when he was in OCS and after he had been commissioned. Reuben wondered if the CO had a ready template on hand ... hmm.

But Nick would have to have the last say when it comes to wringing emotion from everyone. That's when his coffin was silently delivered into the furnace. There wasn't a dry eye in the viewing hall. My aunt held up well. She didn't cry as she watched the coffin entered the furnace. She just stood there, a blank, stoic look. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad. I'm really afraid that she can't take it. We need to be by her side.

Later, at the lobby of the crematorium, I was holding her in my arms, hugging her. I tried not to cry. But as I held her, I could not feel anything from her. Danny SMSed me today telling me that it'll probably take 6 months for things to go back to normal. I'm afraid that for my aunt, it might take forever to recover from this harsh blow.

First of all, thank you for your condolences and support. Much appreciated.

As Nick is an officer, and died during duty, there were many Mindef personnel present at the wake. However, they seem to be observing the comings and goings during the wake itself. And whenever there were small groups huddled together in conversation, someone from the Mindef would discreetly walk over and hover around, trying to catch the conversation.

Why were they doing that?

But regardless.

What they've reported in their press statement had so many gaps and questions, and loopholes so big they could sink the Titanic.

But a series of seemingly unrelated events and chance encounters with people have got us piecing the story together with regards to the nature of the accident and his demise.

Now, we have to find some ways to come to peace with the real reasons behind his unfortunate passing.