The Cosmopolitan Tales

I'm stopping Livejournal for now.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 09:55:40 GMT

KTHXBAI!

Be back next time (don't know when).

The Cosmopolitan Tales 13.14a: I Don't Want To Die For You

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:14:31 GMT

So in my last post, it is kind of established that the Singapore citizenship for males is basically a cheap deal compared to being ~~foreigner out to get our jobs~~ permanent residents here.

Of course if I had my way, I would, contrary to the government's stand of welcoming these folks into our pristine shores with no conditions, set certain restrictions to their privileges in order to balance the outrage that born and bred locals feel towards their imported counterparts. That would widen the gap of benefits one get as a citizen, which I feel is not a bad thing. The government has cautioned that if we widen this gap, we would make the foreigners feel unwelcome here, and they will therefore avoid making Singapore a place to call home. Singapore will lose its attractiveness as a beacon for foreign talents, and a host of problems will occur, which will eventually lead Singapore back to becoming a swamp ala 1819.

But I beg to differ based on two points.

One, many advantageous factors already in place in Singapore because of the hard work laid down by it's citizens - such as good infrastructure, a safe environment, our free port, the education system - already make Singapore a very ideal place for the fleeing unfortunate masses of foreign talents to want to settle down here. One more benefit they enjoy as a permanent resident here is one carrot too many already.

Two, by widening the gap of benefits between a full fledged citizen and a PR will in turn make these permanent residents aspire to greater lengths of obtaining full citizenship. If the difference in benefits is negligible, which it is right now, what makes them want to throw down the gauntlet and settle down here as a full fledge citizen? At least as a PR, they have the options to return home or go somewhere else if things don't work out for them here. Our government does not know the worth of its own country.

Now the question is - how do we widen the gap? What other privileges can we take away from PRs right now? The most obvious would be the medical and hospitalization subsidies. What is the rationale for doing so? Foreigners fleeing their country of origins and settling down in Singapore have already ensured themselves a life with a lesser risk of premature mortality. What's the worst accident that could happen to you in Singapore? Get run over by a car? How many ways can you die elsewhere around Asia like India (bomb blasts), or China (earthquakes and their own oppressive army)? What about the Philippines (typhoons and volcanoes) or Indonesia (Earthquakes and tsunamis)? Check the CIA factbook on mortality rates. Singapore is ranked at #174 (the only other Asian country where the mortality rate is lower is Brunei).

The point is - they've escaped early death once by settling down here. We have invariably "subsidized" their chances of dying young. So ... why are we subsidizing them for medical and hospitalization subsidies? Isn't that double counting? Am I making sense?

The Cosmopolitan Tales 13.14: I Don't Want To Be A Hero

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 10:09:56 GMT

Every Singaporean male citizen who reaches the age of 18 is liable to serve at least 2 years of National Service. Thereafter, these "operationally ready servicemen" will be let loose and allowed to return to civilization once more. But every year till the day the Singaporean male hits 40 years old (or 50 if he's an officer), he is liable to be recalled back to his army camp for an average of two weeks for his reservist training.

Two weeks every year may not be much of a sacrifice but if you're a busy working white-collared salaryman, two weeks can leave quite a dent on your overall productivity and result in an insurmountable workload as I found out recently when I returned from reservist.

If you would ask most Singaporean men what they feel about reservist, most likely than not they'll tell you that reservist is really a waste of time. Forget what the government and staunch patriots say about the sacred rights of defending the nation, these men will tell you how their reservist stint resulted in a loss of income (especially the sales people), an increase in living expenses (especially if they don't have a car and have to rely on cabs), or in some extreme instances, an irritated and uncaring boss and even a threat on their jobs.

Especially in this economically desperate climate when the government of Singapore readily welcome Foreign Talents (FTs) with open arms and dish out permanent residency to these FTs for free, anecdotal evidences persist on blogs and forums about how promotions and even jobs were lost to these foreigners because true-blooded Singaporean males have been burdened by the liability of National Service while foreigners are readily available to shine with their consistent presence in their offices. Of course, one should not be swept up in the emotions but rather critically examine the context of said job losses and missed promotions. Perhaps to begin with, these locals lost out to the foreigners because they are cheaper to employ and more hardworking?

But nonetheless, ceteris paribus (if all things being equal), the only difference between a local male worker and a foreign male worker is the national service liability. (On a side note, I am NOT calling it a liability out of spite, but following the government's convention of addressing it as such.) If that is the case, then one must examine what is the cost of being a Singaporean male, or to be more precise, what is the cost of this national service liability to a typical local guy. Is this cost so high that an employment pass holder or Singapore PR is better off compared to a full-fledged citizen? And how do we measure this cost?

I would assume the only way to measure the cost is to measure benefits that a Permanent Resident does not have but that a Singapore citizen enjoys. Then, we can draw a conclusion that the cost of National Service = the benefits PRs do not have.

So, what are the major benefits that a PR do not have and which a citizen enjoy?

Government
1. PR can't vote and cannot be an MP
(Big deal right? Most locals don't vote anyway because their constituencies are always walkover).

Tax Matters
1. No tax incentives for children, maids and parents.
(Is that a big deal? I can tell you mine probably come out to be $3000 a year.)

Subsidies
1. PRs not eligible for Edusave schemes.
(Big deal! With our government so notorious with defining narrow criteria for eligibility of schemes, how many people can actually qualify and rely on Edusave schemes?)

2. PRs have less subsidies for public health care. On average, 10% less subsidies.
(This is getting more ridiculous.)

Well, that's all actually.

So now you tell me - do you think it is worth being a Singapore male citizen saddled with a National Service liability? From the pure objective standpoint, it looks like Singapore male citizens are all be better off being permanent residents.

Reflex(n): VolunQueerism

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 08:51:19 GMT

I have not been updating my livejournal for the past few weeks because I've ben busy with my work, and my weekends have been occupied with Indignation 09 as their volunteer event photographer.

I decided to volunteer as a photographer for them because of two reasons. One, to try my hand at event photography and see what challenges it poses, and two, to take my mind off the sadness that has been weighing on me recently.

It surely was an eye opener for me, being a volunteer for the gay cause, although I'm not sure if I've earned any karma points from this venture. After all, I didn't really improve lives, or return any goodwill to society. In fact, some conservatives may even believe I'm helping spread the "ills" of society by bringing the GLBT cause to the forefront of social consciousness when I publish the photos on facebook and flickr. Perhaps somehow, somewhere, someone hiding deep in the closet will be informed and enlightened by my photographs and take a positive step forward towards his own acceptance. Which of course will probably spell doom for the people who loves him as they would be devastated by his eventual coming out.

Throughout the past few weekends, I've bore witness to a lot of affirming activities which Indignation as well as other associated pro-gay groups like Oogachaga have organized, such as the Pink Picnic on National Day as well as the Outrace, where contestants race each other to the many gay significant spots in Singapore (such as Ann Siang Hill and AfA) to complete tasks and search for clues, not unlike the Amazing Race. I've made acquaintences with many of the other volunteers and kudos to the effort and enthusiasm they put into the cause by organizing these activities.

On the other hand, I was also privy to the inner mechanisms and disagreements in ideology even within the ranks of the gay movers and shakers. But better to hear alternative voices than to merely blindly follow the loudest one.

Now that Indignation is coming to an end, perhaps I'll have more time to write about other things. I'm not sure if I would want to volunteer again next year for Indignation. After all, I'm the type of person that prefer to move on after completing something I've set my mind to do.

Here are some of the highlights of Indignation:

The Pink Picnic - Food Orgy

VolunQueer Event

The Organizers of Indignation (Some of them are Livejournal users too)

Peeks: The Choa Chu kang Columbarium

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 16:20:14 GMT

Today I visited Nick at his final resting place - the Choa Chu Kang Columbarium. I spent 15 minutes speaking to him, telling him my feelings about his passing, and all the things I didn't manage to tell him when he was still with us. Barely a month has passed since the day he left. And as I spoke to him, I touched the cold slab of marble with his youthful face embossed on it, and his name and the dates of his birthday and passing engraved in yellow ink. It sent a mild shiver down my spine. There was a tiny bunch of flowers placed in the steel holder that was fixed next to his niche. A bunch of plastic carnations and daffodils with a ribbon tied around them. And a note that said

"To our beloved Nicky,
from Daddy and Mommy."

My tears flowed as freely again as the first day of the rupture in my heart. A rupture that has become part of me, and which will always remain. The definition of me now includes a painful hollow wound.

I had my camera with me cuz my next stop was the launch of Indignation 09 and I had volunteered myself as their event photographer. I didn't know if it is taboo to be taking photographs of a columbarium, but what the hell, I thought. As long as I don't take a photo of any particular niches, I guess is OK...

Warning though - They're rather eerie to behold. So ...

Empty Niches

Empty Corridor

<
Emptiness

More pictures at My Flickr page.

Reflex(n): Friends of Nick

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 10:24:21 GMT

In some ironically strange ways, the departure of Nicky brought me closer to my family and also introduced me to new friends. One of them is Audi, who is one of Nick's best friends since BMT. He's a funny character and we've somehow ended chatting over Facebook regularly. And through Audi, I gradually got to know Nick better than when he was still with us.

Nick is so different from me and my cousins in many aspects. I shall talk about one particular aspect in this entry.

All my cousins including Nick & myself were brought up within the same matriarchal fraternity, cared for by our grandmother, fussed and smothered by our aunts & mothers, and taught dirty jokes and swear words by our uncles and fathers. My cousins and I may have different religions and possess different surnames, but a common thread binds us and identifies us as a family - we struggle with the Chinese language, but yet are fiercely traditional in our adherence to Chinese customs, kinship and most of all - mindset.

Except Nick the rebel. Although he may struggle with the Chinese language like the rest of us, he is more cosmopolitan than me in terms of his mindset. I measure this level of "cosmopolitan-ism" to the number of non-Chinese friends he has. I was surprised that a good number of his friends who turned up at the wake are non-Chinese. I can tell you if it were my wake (touch wood), there'll only be 3 non-Chinese friends who'll be there - Jin Hian, Clarence and Guhan. Even then, there's Chinese blood coursing through JH and Clarence, so it can't really add up to 3.

I'm not racist. I'm just not very familiar with other people's cultures to want to initiate a friendship with them. But Nick has a very open and receptive soul and makes friends with people of every creed, something I find very inspiring. That's something I must work towards.

The Cosmopolitan Snippets: Test Of Faith

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:00:49 GMT

I don't think I can write a proper Cosmopolitan Tales yet because I'm still in a haze of agony. But yet, my sense of humour is still present. I think that keeps me sane. Somehow.

So anyhow, instead of a proper Cosmopolitan Tale, I'll just write snippets of things that I think are interesting, and which happened over the past few days.

Conversation with Auntie Fanny

Auntie Fanny (AF): You ah ...
Me: What?
AF: I've watched you grow up, you never change.
Me: What do you mean?
AF: You're always so suspicious of what people tell you. You don't trust anyone easily is it?
Me: Why you say that?
AF: When the Colonel (Nick's CO) was talking to you, the way you look at him was like *gave that narrow slitty eye pursed lips doubtful expression*
Me: Really? Are you sure I did that? *looks at AF with that narrow slitty eye pursed lips doubtful expression*
AF: Tsk! There you go again.
Me: I don't trust his slick talk.

SMS Exchange with Cousin Esther

Cousin Esther (CE): Later when you go back to office, don't "tsk" at your staff ok?
Me: Tsk, why?
CE: There you go again.
Me: Why la?
CE: Cuz I love your "tsk". And moreover, people genuinely cares for your wellbeing even in the office. So don't "tsk" at them.
Me: No la I won't. No energy to "tsk" anyway :(

Conversation with The Doctor

The Doctor (TD): Hello. So when was your last exposure?
Me: Huh?
TD: Err ... when did you last have unsafe sex?
Me: I don't do unsafe sex.
TD: Then why are you here?
Me: ..... The last time I was here you told me to come and get tested once every 6 months what!
TD: Oh! Is it? Do you have sex often?
Me: Once a month.
TD: That's not very often what.
Me: Tsk.
TD: Same people you have sex with?
Me: More or less.
TD: Oh. Heh heh. Well ... actually ... once every 6 months is a bit overdoi ... ok lah. Once every 6 months is OK.
Me: ......
TD: Blood or saliva?
Me: Saliva.
.
.
.
*20 mins later*

TD: See, it's negative.
Me: .....
TD: See, only one line.
Me: .....
TD: Any questions?
Me: Bye.

... (4)

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:25:02 GMT

I didn't expect the military send-off to be conducted in such a big scale. The service at Mandai was filled to the brim with many of Nick's ex-classmates, his camp mates and friends. It was standing room only. My grandma commented that Nick was so popular, and it was his fortune that he had so many people come to pay their last respects to him. I think so too. I needed to believe that too. Reuben delivered the family's eulogy while Nick's CO delivered the army's.

The family eulogy, which was largely written by me, was a very heart-wrenching one. And from how Reuben delivered it, I felt it was almost to the point of being emotionally manipulative to the audience which included my aunt and uncle. I think we both intended it to be that way because we both wanted to leave an impact on everybody in the hall. The army's eulogy was more uplifting and inspirational, recounting the various outstanding things Nick has performed when he was in OCS and after he had been commissioned. Reuben wondered if the CO had a ready template on hand ... hmm.

But Nick would have to have the last say when it comes to wringing emotion from everyone. That's when his coffin was silently delivered into the furnace. There wasn't a dry eye in the viewing hall. My aunt held up well. She didn't cry as she watched the coffin entered the furnace. She just stood there, a blank, stoic look. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad. I'm really afraid that she can't take it. We need to be by her side.

Later, at the lobby of the crematorium, I was holding her in my arms, hugging her. I tried not to cry. But as I held her, I could not feel anything from her. Danny SMSed me today telling me that it'll probably take 6 months for things to go back to normal. I'm afraid that for my aunt, it might take forever to recover from this harsh blow.

... (3)

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:02:26 GMT

Last night, only the cousins could participate in the prayer rites. There were the chanting by the monks and we followed instructions by them to bow or stand, and we had to walk around his coffin a few times. Half an hour into it, I've already started crying. What got to me was the simple wreath laid atop his coffin that read - "to our beloved son, love mom and dad". No parents should ever have to go through this hell.

Thereafter, I had to lead the procession where we burn the paper house and afterlife money to Nick. The monk told me - "when the flames start to get bigger, cry out in your most sincere manner to ask Nick to collect his house and offerings".

I told myself this would break me and it did. I knew it. Cuz once the paper house went up in flames, I shouted at the top of my lungs - "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, come and collect your house!". A cacophony of my cousins' pleas followed. "We even have a car for you!" "Nicky, we've offered many things for you."

Then I shouted "Nicky! Nicky! ... I love you Nicky!" and I I broke into uncontrollable sobs. I lost it completely, screaming in pain through my tears. Just like that day at the hospital.

Today the funeral will be held at 2.45pm. My cousin Kelvin will lead. I will follow closely behind. My other cousin Reuben will read the eulogy we've jointly prepared. Nick's parents and the elders are not allowed to attend. There'll be floodgates again.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

... (2)

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:06:27 GMT

First of all, thank you for your condolences and support. Much appreciated.

As Nick is an officer, and died during duty, there were many Mindef personnel present at the wake. However, they seem to be observing the comings and goings during the wake itself. And whenever there were small groups huddled together in conversation, someone from the Mindef would discreetly walk over and hover around, trying to catch the conversation.

Why were they doing that?

But regardless.

What they've reported in their press statement had so many gaps and questions, and loopholes so big they could sink the Titanic.

But a series of seemingly unrelated events and chance encounters with people have got us piecing the story together with regards to the nature of the accident and his demise.

Now, we have to find some ways to come to peace with the real reasons behind his unfortunate passing.

... (1)

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:23:13 GMT

Yesterday was the most harrowing, mentally and emotionally draining day I've ever lived. From the moment I heard my mother's frantic voice over the phone that my cousin Nick, 21, has met with an accident in camp, til the time I rushed down to the hospital to witness his lifeless form, and all the emotional upheavals, comforting Nick's mother who is my auntie ... that entire afternoon was an exercise to test my inner strength.

Somehow I ended being the de-facto spokesperson on behalf of the family when the reporter arrived at my grandmother's front door requesting an interview. I was briefed, briefly, by the elders - no photos if there was such a request. Also, to drive the point that we want to know what happened.

I spoke with Andre, a reservist friend working in The New Paper. He said - be prepared for months of investigation by the ministry of defense (MINDEF) before the coroner presents the case. Don't have too high expectations. Some queries may never be answered.

Couldn't sleep. Woke up with nightmares. Mainly worried for my auntie. Nick is her only child. SMSed my cousin Esther - our generation needs to step up. Our parents, uncles, aunts, they are old, they can't do this by themselves. Would rather they keep my auntie company. We'll have to do the running around and the logistics bit.

Channel News Asia has a ticker on his passing. Mindef has released a press release. The forums in hardwarezone is abuzzed. I expect that this will be in print soon. I'll have to fend off the chinese newspaper reporters. They are known to be sensationalist hounds.

Today will be another exercise to test my family.

The Cosmopolitan Tales 13.13: Sad Songs On A Sunny Day

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:30:08 GMT

As I have been working late nights for the past few days (some stupid business about a new fruity phone launch blah blah blah), my gym routine has gone to neglect. It's a shameful waste especially when I pay $130 a month for the gym membership, and my trainer has so kindly mapped out a 5 day rinse and repeat routine for me to follow so that I can have abs of steel and biceps of Atlas. Being so far from an ideal 37 year old body, I decided that I can no longer use late nights as an excuse for skiving gym. So girding my loins, I hit the gym during lunch time today in a sorry attempt to ease my guilt.

The walk from my office in Somerset to the gym at Paragon was a warmup exercise in itself already, what with the sweltering heat and the blazing sun. But it was a good workout after that. There were few people at the gym, so the machines were all for my heaving and lifting. I only trained my shoulders today, so within an hour (54 minutes to be exact), I was done and ready to return to the daily grind in the office.

As I waited by the traffic lights at the junction of Orchard and Bideford, I noticed the usual streetcorner busker was different than usual. Instead of the familiar old man who sings old chinese out-of-tunes, this time round it was a lady. And I observed her, sitting there under the hot sun with the microphone in her hands, slightly hunched but maintaining an air of dignity, or was it just nonchalence, around her; the portable karaoke machine by her side, a bag of coins and notes at her feet. She cut a forlorn figure in a sea of passersby.

Some background music was filtering out of the speakers and then she sang. Her voice clear and resonating. I detected a tinge of sadness too, and was that just a hint of desperation as well?

Then the words became clearer as I heard her sing.

You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He's the only one for me, Jolene

I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him even though you can

That was the first time I had tears in my eyes listening to a busker sing. I walked over to her, and gave her my last fiver (that was supposed to be my lunch money). She didn't acknowledge me, but kept on singing that sad song on a sunny day.

Peektures: Beautiful, Dirty, Rich Buildings In Shenton Way

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:35:48 GMT

shayan asked me if I'll ever start taking pictures of people instead of buildings and still life. Actually I do - that of my friends. But I am still uncomfortable taking photos of total strangers. I mean, I tried doing it here, but ultimately, I'm still not comfortable about it. Taking photos of total strangers is a very intrusive thing to do, methinks. I wouldn't like it if someone were to point his camera at me and take a shot, especially when I do not know him. If I were in a bad mood that particular moment, I might just swipe his camera onto the floor.

So I don't do it.

Moreover, Singapore's skyline has more than enough interesting buildings and architecture to keep me happy. I hope you like some of the black and whites I took today.

It Couldn't Happen Here

Opportunities (Let's Make Lots Of Money)

We've Got A Red Light Here

OK, there was a color shot, I lied. But more peeks here at my Flickr!

The Cosmopolitan Tales 13.12: Of Will And Grace

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:17:28 GMT

When I was growing up, and even till a decade ago when I joined the workforce, the Singapore that I knew then was a really different Singapore as compared to what it is now. I am not talking about the progress and the advancements we've achieved in terms of infrastructure and technology, but of our way of life and the values that defines us as Singaporeans.

I feel that back then, in the 70s till the 90s, Singapore was a more homogenous country than it is now. As fellow countrymen, we moved to the same beat and we shared the same hopes and dreams - that of one united people, regardless of race, language or religion, coming together to build a society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress as a nation. We were optimistic that the future would be brighter for ourselves and for our future generations, and we truly prided ourselves for our collective achievements of putting Singapore on the world map - be it as a sarong-kebaya clad Singapore Girl, or having one of the world's busiest but most efficient ports. We were a young nation, but we were Singaporeans, and we had a will.

We also knew our neighbours as close as our kin, my parents formed car-pools with total strangers at designated pick-up points along Marine Parade Road so that they could all get into Shenton Way faster. At the National Stadium, people gathered to cheer our Lions trounce the Malaysians at soccer matches and we shared the news with passers-by on our way home. We were thankful of what we had - we knew we weren't as sophisticated as the West in terms of material things, but we were content because we had happiness, and we shared this happiness with our neighbours during the festive seasons. We were an innocent people, but we were Singaporeans, and we had a will.

Like children who slowly grow into teenagers, we as a country started to develop angst along the way. Suddenly, as a people, we started to want so much more - wealth, status, power, voice; suddenly as a people, we started to see the world as a more dangerous place. I think it is here that we started to think only for ourselves, to have what we want, but who cares if it is at the expense of others; we started to loose sight of the future, and started to become myopic. We started to stop being open. So we started to demonize people different from us, in any demographical possibilities, and we became less civil, which is an irony considering the fact that more people are affiliating themselves to religion nowadays. We've become more individual and less collective, less Singaporean. We've lost our grace.

Why is that so? Is it because the world around us has become so mired by war and strife we started to behave like that as well? Is it because the world around us had so many more opportunities and the good stuff it could only mirror what we do not have? What about what we already possess? Then we must be reminded of what we already possess.

Some might say that with the influx of new immigrants into our homeland, this is bound to happen. After all, newly minted transitional workers, PRs and citizens do not have as much affinity to this land - their adopted country - as compared to born and bred locals. Even more so if these new immigrants come from cultures that do not regard social graces and communal affinity highly. And when faced with brashness and selfishness, locals then can only react with the same magnitude of brazenness. Ugliness begets ugliness. Newton's third law of motion.

But if that's the case, surely us born and bred locals can overcome ourselves to be good and better examples to newcomers of who we are, and where we come from. And it is important to know who we are, of what we already have. We are the 5th wealthiest country in the world in terms of GDP per capita. In the world, godammit! We've had not have a single war since 1945. Our educational system is world class. We're one of the most connected citizens in the world. We gave the Asian music stage Stephanie Sun and JJ Lin. We're up there in the eyes of other countries - detractors, admirers and supporters alike. So let's start behaving like first class citizens. With will, and grace. And if we have the will, we can have grace.

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: Buddha / Babylon

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 14:39:58 GMT

Day 1: Arrived 12.55pm. S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G!!

My first day in Bangkok and it is already a disciplinary disaster. I blame the sale that is happening right now. Then there's the impeccable service. The Club21 staff are really eager to please. "Sir may I carry your bag while you browse around?" "Oh, we don't have it in this size, but there's a shop in Sukhumvit that does. We can arrange to have it delivered from the shop to your hotel." "It's 30% discount storewide .... except for these. These are 50%".

Damn you.

So I've decided. Fine. I'll sin on the first day and repent the next. As I am typing this, I realise I'm now pissed broke. Luckily my pay day is coming so there's some moolah to cover my sinful tracks which should appease my conscience a bit.

Back to my journal.

Day 2: Namo Tassa ....

I promised that I would get in touch with my spiritual side. So here I am, on a ferry cruising down the Chao Phraya river - down to where Buddha reclines in peace. He's damn cool lor, the blissful, nonchalent way in which he lies on his side, his right hand glamourously propping his golden head, looking at me with such serenity. And as I look at him, I can feel him telling me - "Ha! You little sinful slut. How much did you spend yesterday? Whatever happened to the dream of paying off your housing loan?"

I narrow my eyes, and curling my mouth into a slight pout, raise my camera, took aim, and shot his face. So much for spirituality. I am hungry so I'm going back to where I started my river tour - Oriental Hotel.

Here I am at the Oriental Hotel eating lunch. For such a nice, expensive hotel, the food sucks. Enough of the beef soup noodle. I think I shall go to the gym. Now, where is it located? Hmm .. OK, South Sathorn Road Soi 1. Sounds familiar leh. Like, have I been there before. OK, never mind. Go outside and flag a cab.

The concierge of Oriental Hotel is quite a helpful chap. Flagged a cab for me, and then asks me where I wanna go.

Me: Erm ... South Sathorn Road. Life Center.
Concierge: Hmm ... South Sathorn Road quite long. Which part?
Me: Err ... let's see. Soi 1.
Concierge: Huh? *stunned a bit, then quickly recovered* Oh!
(Ducks his head and look at the cab driver)
.
.
.
.
Concierge: BABYLON!

:( Damn you.

God Put A Smile Upon My Face

寒武纪 - The Cambrian Age

Day And Night It Is Fucking Jam Lor.

More peeks at My Flickr

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: Bangkok Dangerous

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 02:54:34 GMT

Yes, very dangerous. Especially when Sale Season is on. Club21, Armani Exchange, CK, FCUK, DKNY, Hugo, Paul Smith, ... it just goes on and on.

So little time, so little money, so many choices.

I should meditate on this conundrum.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Reflex(n): Gays And The Asian Value

Fri, 29 May 2009 08:52:26 GMT

It is sad for us GLBT community that Section 377A of the Penal Code in Singapore which states "Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years", is still being upheld by the state.

One of the most common excuse that the government and detractors use in their argument to uphold Section 377A, this discriminating piece of legislation which criminalises sex between mutually consenting adult men, is that Singapore is still a conservative society where the majority of the population wishes to uphold their Asian values, plus we must be sensitive to our neighbours' sentiments.

Asian values. Now, what are Asian values, really? Until now, nobody has offered me a definition of "Asian values", and what it really means in the face of homosexuality. Do these values include views on homosexuality? If they do, are these values tolerant values, or discriminatory? Lastly, who decides on what Asian values are?

I suppose to only way to find out is to turn to Asia herself to figure it out.

So, let's see what the various Asian countries, especially our neighbours since we have to be sensitive to their sentiments, have this to say about homosexuality: Is it legal?

I shall pick out a few Asian communities - all ASEAN members since they are our neighbours: Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam, Brunei, Cambodia, Laos, Burma. I shall also pick China and India since Singapore's four main races also include Chinese and Indian. Then there's our little pink dot.

Of the 12 countries, 7 countries have legalized homosexuality - China, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam. In 5 countries, it is still illegal by law - Burma, Brunei, India, Malaysia and Singapore.

So, majority of our ASEAN neighbours are basically saying that being gays and lesbians, and engaging in gay and lesbian sex is legal in their country. That even includes a predominantly Muslim country - Indonesia, and a predominantly Roman Catholic country - the Philippines.

What gives? These countries that have legalized homosexuality are also countries with Asian values. Or are their Asian values different from ours? Then if that is the case, perhaps my detractors should start saying it like it is - "We are a conservative society and we discriminate against the GLBT community."

Say it like it is, detractors. We want you to look ugly. And don't hide behind this umbrella called "Asian values". Because the majority of Asia are OK with gays.

Reflex(n): IndigNation versus Pinkdot

Tue, 19 May 2009 07:23:56 GMT

One of the ways to measure the success or failure of a marketing campaign is to develop a cost-benefit analysis of the campaign during it's post mortem. By that, I mean measuring how much the campaign cost, versus how much benefits it has reaped in.

In the business world, developing a cost-benefit analysis is often a challenging and debatable task because although costs are simple to measure - it is simply the dollar value cost of developing the campaign into fruition, example advertisements, manpower, etc - the benefits are often a complex combination of various arbituary yardsticks.

Why do I say these yardsticks are arbituary? Take an advertisement campaign to bring awareness to, say, a new cola for example. Should we merely consider the sales revenue from the new cola as benefits? If so, that is too narrow a consideration because (as an extreme example) nobody in Singapore may buy the drink, but everybody in Singapore KNOWS there's a new cola in town.

How do you justify that awareness and call it a success when it has brought in no revenue at all but yet everyone knows about it?

So, if you think a simple awareness campaign is a tough case to measure cost-benefits, imagine a campaign to bring awareness to the equal rights of gay people to the masses in Singapore. Tough eh?

I'm going to stir MAJOR shit now. But let's put two movements side by side here. Both have the same objectives - to make Singapore (it's people, detractors and the government) more aware of the presence of her GLBT community, and bring to light the inequalities and challenges the GLBT community face here.

One movement is called IndigNation, and the other is called Pinkdot.

OOOoooOOOooooo. The question is - which movement, by using a cost-benefit analysis to analyse, is more successful?

I do not sit in the committee of either movements, hence, I do not know the costs involved in running these two movements. However, do bear in mind that IndigNation is a collection of mini events, from organized talks, to plays, to a picnic and an art show. Pinkdot on the other hand is that one rally held at Hong Lim Park just last week. If I hazard a guess, the cost of running IndigNation would probably be higher than Pinkdot.

Now, for the benefits. This is the one that will stir up the most debate. To measure which movement created the most benefits to the GLBT community as a whole, one must consider the following:

(1) How do you define "success of campaign" in this case. I think we can first agree that no monetary benefits are involved here. So, does success = the awareness of the campaign to the GLBT community? The awareness of the campaign to Singapore in general? Does it go beyond awareness to benefiting in any way, the lives of GLBTs in Singapore now or in the future? Does it push the boundaries of tolerance and acceptance of GLBTs in Singapore? Does it meet it's original objectives?

(2) After defining success, how do you measure that one is indeed more successful than the other?

Let's first talk about the definition of success. I think it should encompass all of the above in point (1). Then, comparing the two.

I feel that compared to IndigNation, more people in Singapore are aware of Pinkdot. Based on a little "street survey" I've done, many of my colleagues heard or read about it. But when it came to IndigNation, they only know of it as a word in the dictionary. To be fair, there were some press coverage for IndigNation, but I will discuss that later. Of course, this little survey was done in the confines of my office environment. Perhaps a reader may contribute more insights into this.

As to which event probably benefitted the lives of GLBTs now or in the future, I am inclined to think that IndigNation is perhaps more successful. This is because of the organized talks that are part of the event. These talks draw people (albeit a small group) to understand themselves and people around them better, and listeners may stand to benefit from them.

Of course, one might argue that because of Pinkdot, many people are inspired to educate their families and friends about GLBTs and that in turn will make our lives for the better.

However, at the same time, because IndigNation was more aggressive and bolder, and really pushed and tested the boundaries, it has also received it's fair share of press - bad and good. Has this pushing and testing of boundaries benefitted the lives of GLBTs and increased the tolerance and acceptance level of other Singaporeans? Hmmm....

One might say - yes, because without these tests of boundaries, wider reaching events like Pinkdot would not have happened. Other may say - no, because some of these events of IndigNation that got banned (like the Kissing exhibition) really got the Christian fundies and the government eyeing us like hawks to prey. And as to whether future generations will truly benefit from the efforts made by IndigNation and Pinkdot is probably too early to tell. One, though, can hope for the best.

In the end, it is tough deciding which is more successful. But writing this article certainly brought another insight to my horizon - that perhaps both IndigNation and Pinkdot should co-exist together. One to push the boundaries, and the other to heal the spaces.

Reflex(n): Why Living Well Should Never Be The Only Revenge

Mon, 18 May 2009 06:34:23 GMT

Late into the evening after Pinkdot, I had the utmost privilege to be invited to a house party that was thrown by the boyfriend of a renowned local director. There must have been forty odd guests that evening, and many of them are stalwarts, supporters and champions of the gay movement in Singapore (if there ever is one) including Roy Tan (the one who started Pinkdot), Neo Swee Lin, Stuart Koh, Pam Oei, the list goes on.

I had the honour of speaking with Roy that evening. He remembered me as "the person who stood up during the PLU AGM to question Alex Au". That must have been over 3 years ago, or longer. "Well, now I am going to question YOU!" I joked.

Truth be told, I think everyone including the organizers were so pleasantly surprised by how well the turnout to Pinkdot was. We were anticipating the abject shock the Christian-right would have to take in the next morning. Stuart, in particular, had the best jibes for them. Throughout the evening, amidst the booze and debate, we were reading the press releases that were pouring in, first from Straits Times, then CNA, Associated Press, the Washington Post! (Today BBC chimed into the event). And so I turned to Roy and I asked him "What's next?"

Roy: I don't know actually. That's a good question.
Me: You can't just stop here. You've got the momentum going. We can only move forward.

A lot of ideas were thrown around as to what we have to do to move forward. For sure, we can't go the way the old guards did with "Repeal 377A". That angle failed. We needed a new strategy, and Pinkdot hit the nail on the head - we appeal to inclusiveness and love. In other words, we fight not with swords but with love. But we still fight. And we can't fight the government, so we'll fight from ground up.

What do I mean fight from ground up? I mean we have to show our friends and family that despite being gay, we are still their friends and family. This is something that is not easy to do, because by fighting from ground up, our enemies of discrimination and prejudice could just appear on the faces of the people we love the most instead of some faceless church movements or some government body.

I fought from ground up. It took me years - my friends can attest to that - before my dad and mom finally accepted me as their only child who happens to be gay. And on Saturday, 16 May 2009, I attended Pinkdot with their blessings on my back.

Do not underestimate the power of fighting from ground up. If one gay man/woman can convince 5 or 6 of his immediate family members that he is still who he is - son or brother - just different, and make 5 or 6 of his family members come round to acceptance, we have just gained 5 or 6 supporters for our cause to eventually repeal 377A and decriminalize homosexuality in Singapore.

Yes, it will take years, and there will be heartaches along the way. But collectively, we have to fight. We cannot afford to sit in our ivory towers - hitting the gym, making lots of money, going for our bi-annual holidays, essentially living well - and say that's the best revenge against those firmly opposed to our equality and freedom. Merely living well will be the most self-defeating, consolatory act that any gay/lesbian can do for himself.

I fought by coming out; I fought by writing the Cosmopolitan Tales; I fought by making my presence felt at Pinkdot; I fought by doing my best to dispel the haters on the forums; I fought by publishing the Pinkdot photos in mainstream websites and my Flickr to show the world and Singapore that we are gay and we're here to stay. And by the way, did you just spot your son wrapped in a pink feather boa in one of my photos, dear concerned parent?

So my dear readers, I implore you. Do not just live well and call that revenge. Grow a backbone, grit your teeth, and start your personal war of love with your family and friends.

The Cosmopolitan Tales 13.11: For The First Time In History, It's Gonna Start Raining Men

Sun, 17 May 2009 14:49:20 GMT

Humidity was rising,
Barometer got so low (to the point it rained for awhile earlier in the day)
According to the source,
The street's the place to go.

And yesterday for the first time,
Just about half past four,
For the first time in history
Hong Lim Park started raining men (and women).

The pink parade that made up of every creed of men and women, be it straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgendered, all came crawling out of the woodworks of the heartlands to join hands and form the big pink dot of love, inclusiveness and up-yours-to-the-antigay-establishment.

We want to be included, and we want equality. Yesterday, we felt like we almost got it. The road to acceptance is long and will be hard fought. But yesterday gave me hope that if I fight with my brothers (and sisters) in arms, yes we can get there some day.

Yes, we can.

The Pink Letter Day

Sowing The Seeds of Love

The Fear

More peeks can be found here: My Flickr Page.

PS. A very special thanks to Roy Tan who made this possible. And it was an absolute privilege to meet up with him later and listen to his words.

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: The Beijing Recovery Getaway

Thu, 14 May 2009 14:50:38 GMT

One of the best hedonistic inventions ever invented back in my disco ecstatic heyday was the recovery party. That lifesaver of a lo-fi chill-out that buffered the aftermath of alcohol and drugs the night before from the harsh reality of office fluorescent lighting the day after.

One of the worst hedonistic inventions to be invented now in my post ecstatic holiday is the recovery getaway. That moneysucker of a lo-key chill-out that prolongs the aftermath of abandon and dallying the week before from the harsh reality of office workload - frightening! - the weeks after.

One shouldn't question the (lack of) wisdom in such an audacious invention as the recovery getaway. One must instead attempt to understand and sympathize with people who need a small holiday to recover from the previous one.

See yer in Bangkok soon, suckers!!

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: They've Got A Wall in China ....

Sun, 10 May 2009 06:19:38 GMT

"It's a thousand miles long.
To keep out the foreigners, they've made it strong.
And I've got a wall around me,
That you can't even see.

It took a little time to get next to me."

- Something So Right, Paul Simon

This is my song.

Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Bedtime Story (Traveling, leaving logic and reason)

Something So Right

Fading Like A Flower

More pictures here, of course.

And last but not least, this ends my Beijing 25 April - 2 May 2009 peektures series. Thank you for viewing, and thank you for all your wonderful comments. Very much appreciated.

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: Strolling Openly In The Forbidden City

Thu, 07 May 2009 03:40:20 GMT

My last visit to Beijing in 2000 was with a tour group. As with all organized tours to a foreign city, we were only given a hurried primer through the sites of the city, by a less than enthusiastic guide with a sadistic streak. You know those guides - they especially relish in stopping dead your wide open marvel, your "let me stand here for a while to soak it all in" moment at a particular piece of history or architecture with a curt "OK folks we got to go for lunch now!"

That was what happened in the Forbidden City the last time I was there. The tour group was herded through the 4 main grand halls before finding ourselves packed out of the back gate.

Me: What about the other rooms? We didn't get to see the other places where the concubines...
Tour Guide: Oh, they're at the side, but there's nothing to see there. It's all closed.
Me: Really? I see people com ...
Tour Guide: Get in the bus now you inquisitive tourist! We're late for lunch!!

And that ended my 1 hour tour of the Palace Museum.

Well, no such thing this time. This time, my parents and I strolled freely through all the inner courtyards and rooms of the Forbidden City, exploring the various exhibits, understanding the bits of trivia and history of each of the rooms and smaller palaces within. We found out where Cixi lived while she ruled the country behind the bamboo curtain. I got to discover the room in which one of the concubines was forced to commit suicide by the evil Empress Dowager.

This time round, strolling openly in the Forbidden City yielded so much more enjoyment, and allowed us to appreciate so much more of it's beauty and awe.

Cruel Summer In The Forbidden City

The Great Wide Expanse

Doors

Endless Corridor

The Moat in the Northeast of the City

More peeks at My Flickr.

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: A Dustland Fairytale

Tue, 05 May 2009 15:25:36 GMT

The smog in Beijing can be quite hazardous to one's lungs, which is aggravated by the dry weather. To make the situation worse, northern winds blow the sands of the Mongolian desert into the city. Thus one might wake up to see the entire city shrouded in a whirlpool of dust and sand, the sky yellow and dull. The locals have a term for it - 满城尽带黄金甲.

Yet amidst this swirling cesspool of pollution, the ancient monuments and modern marvels stoically stand, bravely facing the elements of nature and man.

Anyways, tonight I shall only post 3 pictures. Trivia - do you know these monuments of China's Olympic glories align neatly along the same north-south meridian as the Forbidden Palace, Tiananmen Square and the subsequent Qianmen? Talk about planning to the details!

A Dustland Fairytale

Beauty On The Fire

Blue Water

More pics at My Flickr

The Cosmopolitan Traveller: Yee! A Garden! (颐和园)

Mon, 04 May 2009 13:31:55 GMT

It was a Sunday, and expecting the Forbidden Palace to be super sardine packed, the folks + me headed out to the Summer Palace (颐和园) for a little soiree and for an "observation of life of a Beijing commoner".

And observed we did. One of the things I observed is that regardless whether you are a local tourist or a foreign tourist, you pay the same admission fee into a tourist attraction, which is usually quite affordable. Admission into the Summer Palace cost me not more than $12.

In contrast, when I was in India, EVERY single attraction I went to that had admission fees discriminated me as a foreigner. The local pays perhaps US$1 while foreigners have to fork out close to US$45 for an up close and personal of Taj Mahal. On hindsight, that was a rip-off.

I'm glad I'm holidaying in a communist country for a change. :)

Little By Little

Over mountains, over trees

View From The Top

Rivers And Mountains

More here.